Tuesday, August 31, 2010


What a FUN day! Went out with Anne, Hansel, Siew Hui, Kimberley, Emirul, Farhan, Keisha & Jo for movies and shopping. We watched Grown Ups and Step Up 3. I won't blog much about the movies cuz I'll do it later. I had so much fun with all of them. Bumped into alot of Han Chiang people after our movies. We had our lunch at Nando's and dinner at Northam Beach Cafe. I bought 3 t-shirts from Kitschen. OMG! They are so cheap! Only RM8 per t-shirt! Hansel bought a tee too.

Wanted to be Anne and Siew Hui's stylist but I think Queensbay's got more choices. Overall, to sum up the day...FUN, FUN and NONSENSE!

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Monday, August 30, 2010

SAD =(

Really sad. Thinking about all the upcoming birthdays of classmates and friends. And yet, no one has celebrated my birthday with me before. Sad...what to do? Born in December, end of the year. Nobody's home

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Sunday, August 29, 2010


Today was a fairytale
You were the buffalo
I used to be a bitch getting fucked by old dogs
You took me by my tits and you picked me up at the pound
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
I wore a pad
You wore a dark grey dress
You told me I was pretty when I looked like a bitch
Today was a fairytale

My brain slows down whenever you're around

But can you feel your saliva in the air? 
It must have been the way you fucked me 
Fell in love when I saw you pee-ing there 
It must have been the way 
Today was a fairytale 
It must have been the way 
Today was a fairytale 

Today was a fairytale 
You've must be a dog from another planet
Every move you make everything you say is wrong
Today was a fairytale 

Today was a fairytale 
All that I can say is now I'm getting so much hornier
Nothing made sense until the time I pee on your face 
Today was a fairytale 

My vagina slides open whenever you're around


My brain slows down whenever you're around 
I can feel my milk 
It's squirting out of my tits
Did you feel it? 
I can't stop it from flowing

But can you feel your saliva in the air? 
It must have been the way you fucked me 
Fell in love when I saw you pee-ing there 
It must have been the way


Oh, oh, yeah, oh 

Today was a fairytale

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The continuation of BiTCHYTALE. As I was saying, Princess Bitchy became what she is because of Prince Buffalo. Princess Bitcy don't have much friends and yet she chases all her friends away. Now she only has her Prince Buffalo left. And Prince Buffalo is equally dislike by people. Princess Bitch likes to complain about people complaining about things but she herself don't know that she is complaining as well. Princess Bitch used to be likeable although not many people like her. Until Prince Buffalo showed up. Prince Buffalo don't come from a line of royal blood. He came from a line of CANiNE breed. Prince Buffalo is very loyal to Princess Bitch however. Princess Bitch says sit, Prince Buffalo sits. Princess Bitch says FUCK ME, Prince Buffalo do. Prince Buffalo used to use pirated goods but eversince he met Princess Bitch, he likes to show off his goods. One thing about Prince Buffalo is...he thinks he's queer and that all queers like him. Maybe the Witch cursed wrong person. She might have cursed Prince Buffalo to eternal sleep and Prince Buffalo is in layers of dream like Inception which makes him think that he is valueable to queers. Poor Buffalo...

And now? Princess Bitch is still with Prince Buffalo. Prince Buffalo likes to meddle and he likes to put salt on old wounds. As for Princess Bitch, she has no friends. Even her friends are scared that she will turn on them one day. Princess Bitch don't want to be bullied so she protects herself but she's doing it the wrong way. Princess Bitch thinks being who she is, she can go on. But one day, she will fall. Her kingdom of bitches will fall too. But wait, she don't have any bitches eversince she chase them away.

Poor Princess Bitch, she will slip away alone...

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Bought a new pair of shoes! Been eye-ing on it for a VERY LONG time. Finally its ON SALE! Don't ask me but it's really, Really, REALLY CHEAP! Hahaha...

GAY White Shoes =)

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Once upon a time, there lived a Princess. Her name is not worth mentioning so we shall call her Princess Bitch. Princess Bitch is a girly-girl and she loves shopping and all. Underneath all her wealth and possession, Princess Bitch has no friends. Even if she have, she don't treat them right. Her friends live in fear that someday Princess Bitch will hate them for no reasons because thats what Princess Bitch do. Her hobby is gossiping about everyone and anyone, hating the world and crapping. Princess Bitch loves to HATE people. She was a born hater. Princess Bitch even hates her own parent because her wish wasn't fulfilled. You see, Princess Bitch is very very spoiled even though she might not admit it.

Princess Bitch was very nice in the past. She was very nice with her friends and she HAD friends. But it all change when she meet Prince Buffalo. Prince Buffalo likes to add salt into open wounds whenever Princess Bitch have her usual tiff. Prince Buffalo is Prince Charming in Princess Bitch's eyes so she sees no wrong in him.

What is in-store for Princess Bitch and Prince Buffalo?


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Once again, I'm EMO-ing. I ask myself why and its the loneliness within that is killing. For the past week, I've been REALLY happy cuz I've been spending time with the people I like, people that makes me happy, people thats really people. Genuine and real. And now sitting, facing the laptop on my own...I think to myself, is there more to life than this?

Still searching and waiting

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Saturday, August 28, 2010


Woke up really late today. I woke up at 12pm! Haha, thats a record! Got sms from Hansel saying we're going to Shang Wu Primary School's Food Fair later. Wait for his signal then got ready. We went to Anne' place and park there because its just opposite.

The food fair was alright but the KiDS! Oh my god! So damn freaking annoying. Feel like wanna smash them, throw them into the dustbin. They have pet exhibition at the Food Fair also. There was this kid who was using a stick and poking the hamster and the organizers and the person in charge of the booth weren't doing anything. I got so pissed that I ask the kid, ''U like if I do that to you?'' Then he walked off. Stupid kids with idiotic parents who didn't teach them about animal awareness. These parents just buy pets for their kids without even considering if the kids knows how to take care of the animal or not. Damn BODOH.

Anyways, the place was boring. We went over to next door for awhile to check out my old school. St. Xaviers primary. Awww...the memories. Next stop? Anne drag us to her house and we met THE MOM. Lol! Anne's mom is sooo nice and friendly. We took some pictures over there and chat and gossip about people and things. Hehe. We gossip about one person only and if you ask me, that person DESERVES all the gossip. Hansel was EXCEPTiONALLY polite and not so much of nonsense came out from him. But he is really a bimbo-wannabe, haha. Hansel, Hansel. He took the mosquito racket and shocked himself, haha. Bodoh kan babi ni nohhhh...

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I think there's no more chance for us. I thought we couldn't communicate anymore. Now you're going through what you did to me previously. I should be happy but I'm not. My heart hurts to see you like this. I might be shooting you but it hurts too. Things that you did to me, you're going through it now with another guy. Now you understand how I felt when we broke up? You doing the same thing I did. Listening to a song and crying. Talking to THAT person and crying. I was in the same position as you when you did that to me. I listened to Kelly Clarkson's Already Gone for days and tortured myself and kept crying.

You asked me why your tears can't stop rolling down. I asked myself the same question last time. I don't know what to say. It always goes back to you. I think I still like you but...yeah, you're not anymore. You feel we communicate better now. I'll just love you from afar and just support you no matter what. I'll try to be happy for you. Its true then, you'll always be my Greatest Love, JS. I will never hurt you or even try. Sigh...why?

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Friday, August 27, 2010


Haha, some exercise. I am sooo not the exercise type and somehow I agree to go out jogging. Mainly cuz I just wanna get out of house. We went to Botanical Garden for a jog in the morning. The we are myself, Annie, Anne, Hansel, Siew Hui and Emirul. The jogging ended up with nonsense, Annie pulling Hansel's hair, we talking about Avatar, talking bout height and me doing some Waterbending at the Qi-Gong site, haha! NONSENSE, right??? Here are the photos that we took. Yeah, somehow we turn it into a photo-taking session :)
US =)
Speak NO Evil, Hear NO Evil, See NO Evil
The THORN amongst the ROSES
Hansel Khoo, The One With The GAY GENE
Annie Love!
The PROPOSAL (which got rejected)
But we took our couple pic anyways =)
And the FiNALE...ME! So CUTE, right???

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Thursday, August 26, 2010


Today we had rehearsals for our performance. A few of us will be performing in GAA. Its The Golden Achievement Award. It takes place once a year and awards are given out to top students. I'm performing, Hansel's performing, Annie's performing and Celyn's performing too. Anne and her batch's people too.

I don't know but I don't feel the singing mood lately. Must be my throat. Was coughing and had sore-throat previously. Its kinda hard to throw my voice out, ARGH! Rehearse and rehearse. Now back at home, feeling the after-effect = SORE-THROAT. Die larh this time, sigh...

I wish I can sing. Like REALLY sing. Not just sing and then people laugh at.

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Wednesday, August 25, 2010


Why the title of this post is called NOiSE? Well, thats what happen in Advertising's class today. The class is so packed with us who are the ones REALLY taking this paper and the juniors who are being PUSHED UP to choose their major earlier than they are supposed to and the seniors and super seniors who taking this paper as elective because they don't have enough credits to graduate.

As if there's not enough noise from Mr. Daryl himself, the class is packed with his 'gang'. Aduh...Can't concentrate well. Would prefer if they just open the class for our batch and another class for the other mixed up batch. What kind of system is Han Chiang College running? Really BODOH...

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I HATE College on some days and I LOVE College on some days.

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Now I'm feeling the gap between friends after we choose our major. The gap is subtle but I kinda felt it from this morning onwards. The hidden-effect of us separating from each other after choosing our majors. 17 went for PR & Advertising while 15 went for Broadcasting. Things kinda feel abit apart. One day, we'll end up drifting apart. Previously, at least we got same subjects to discuss. Now that we are majoring already, sometimes when Broadcast coursemate talk about their assignments or stuffs regarding that major, we're left in blank and can't join in conversation and kinda helpless when you feel like helping them...

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You see the girl to the right? That's Heng Xiang Ming or better known as Helen. I am glad and happy that I got to know her. She is one of a kind and she's uniquely Helen. She has her way in terms of talking to people and such. We used to call her ''Siao Lala'' but now we just call her ''Siao Po'', haha! Although I may not be as close with her as last time, she's still very sweet to me. I feel like want to help her and protect her. I forgot how I got to know her but I know I never regretted knowing her. I still remember when I got to know her, she got this ''mi yu tang'' hairstyle, haha. Then she got macam macam color. From BRiGHT Brown to Red and now darker color. She may be blur at times but her blurrish actions are all hilarious. She is funny when she talk, when she keeps quiet, when she walk, when she shouts, when she do whatever that she do larh...LOL! I have grouped with her on several assignments. This semester's subjects, I might not be grouping with her but still I will try my best to help her if I can. I think of her as my little sister who is fragile and vulnerable. LOL! She's quite ''tan chun'' in her own ways. Hahahaha...Helen Heng, I Love YOU (as a sister, LOL!) Later your boyfriend kill me, haha...because he will jealous I love you more than I love him, HAHAHAHA!

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Monday, August 23, 2010


Its so fast. Seems like only yesterday. We're now in Year2 Semester1. Still remember all the great memories we had?

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=.= Sigh...

Sigh, I have to choose my major based on my transportation problem. Zzz =.=

I'll have to walk home starting now I guess. I can have friends to car pool with to go college but going back, I have to depend on my two legs from now on. At least on Tuesdays I can still tumpang Hansel, haha...

Mondays: Classes from 8am until 4pm
Tuesdays: Classes from 10am until 6pm
Wednesdays: Classes from 10am until 6pm
Thursdays: Classes from 8am until 12pm
Fridays: Classes from 8am until 2pm

I need to work also, otherwise I'll die...

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A Day Filled With FUN & RUSH

We went to Gurney after settling college's things. We thought we would have lunch then watch Grown Ups but Gurney's GSC isn't showing it yet, sigh. Thought we can spend Aaron's last day on Earth, LOL! I mean last day in Penang by watching a fun movie with him but can't. We ended up DEBATiNG over where to EAT. Nando's la, Manhattan la, McD la. In the end? McD. I made Ms. Anne ''I don't eat McD'' Peterson line up infront first. To make sure she orders and EAT. Then only we order. My god, the combined fries was like French Fries Mountain. Anyways, we makan while listening to Hansel Khoo's nonsense and him making fun of the Korean's facial features. Especially their eyes. Oh ya, we bumped into Ar Jie and Wei Ching also ^^

After lunch, we went round Gurney and we HAD to direct Hansel Khoo to the toilet. He enter the basement toilet even after he saw the sign which says TOiLET CLOSED. Bodoh kan? HAHAHA...biasa larh...Bumped into alot of Han Chiang people in Gurney. Haha...looks like everyone went to Gurney after college ended. Anyways, Anne and I went to Popular and shop for stationeries (sounded like shop for groceries, LOL!) Anne bought a file while I ended up with these...
Hehe, my SketchBook for Advertising
Note Book & Note Pad. So CUTE, right???
My new files, SO CUTE!

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First day of Year2 Sem1. Briefing at 10am about our subjects. Subjects to take in the new semester. Life will be busy from now onwards. I should study harder and smarter. I wanna work at the same time, otherwise can pokaii.

Subjects to take this semester which are compulsory:

Advance News Writing & Reporting Skills
English For Mass Communication
Mass Media & Malaysia Society
Public Relations: Principles & Practice
Advertising: Principles & Practice
Desktop Publishing

Then there's Urban Reporting which is being offered this semester as an elective paper. I want to take it but big problem is, no one else in my batch or anyone else who's close to me for that matter are taking Urban Reporting. No one is interested in Journalism subjects except for me, I guess. So, meaning...I can't take cuz I've got no friends and no transportation to go college for that subject either. Most people wouldn't want to take elective subjects for as long as they have enough credit hours to graduate. Well, I'm different. Even if I have enough credit hours, I still wanna take up as much electives as I can. Because I want to learn. I want to learn more about Mass Communication. I like writing even though I may not look like it. Sigh...

I wish I can choose my subjects based on what I like not based on my transportation problem. Gosh, I hate life...

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Sunday, August 22, 2010


I can't tell you what it really is. I can only tell you what it feels like and right now there's an empty void in my heart. I am living but I feel like a shell, a vessel. The wrong feels right. As the day goes by, I suffer even more. The feeling of drowning in myself...Here we go again, when things are going good, it had to end in a jiffy. I guess I don't know my own strength...

Have you ever want to be love so much that you keep going round searching for it but found nothing? Only found disappointed, despair and suffocation? Hoping for that warm fuzzy feeling but end up alone in the cold and dark night. Just like a broken record playing over and over again, I'm seeing myself drowning and dying slowly...with that, I'm watching myself burn from within. Not that I like the way it hurts but I can't help it.

If I can, I'm willing to run and run and run away from this shadow and darkness that I cloaked myself in. Things were right in my path, in my grasp. I held on to it but it didn't last for as long as I hoped for. I don't know where I'm heading. I was willing to go wherever it takes me but now...I'm doubtful, I'm a skeptic. I've had too much mess and destruction to come back to be myself again. They say time heals everything but I'm still waiting. I am really through with doubts. I've got nothing else to figure out. What is the price for love? I'll pay it and keep paying it!

What goes through my mind lately? All the picture perfect memories that are now scattered all around the floor. Reaching for the phone but there's no one for me to call or text. I will never be anything that I'm not so PLEASE don't let me fall...gimme a break, a little escape. I am so tired of being me. Even though I'm happy being me, I want to get away from all this harsh reality. I want to be free, I want to be someone new and different, anything I'm not.

I need someone take off a little weight or I'll fall through...I need another story, another chapter. Something to help me get off my mind. My life is kinda boring. I may seem strong and big, that doesn't mean I AM. I have no secrets to give away. Everything I am, I've give away. Now there's nothing to give. I'm sick of all the insincere. I don't need another perfect lie this time. Just don't let me disappear.

At this moment, I'm lying on the floor. I think took too much. I thought it would be fun but there's a shortage in the switch with the life support. I want to get out of here where I can RUN just as fast as I can, to the middle of nowhere. To the middle of my FRUSTRATED fear. Love is like a pill. It either makes you better or makes you ill. Knowing too much can get you hurt. In time, it will consume you and you will fade into the blackness.

I could really use a genie, a dream or a wish to go back to something much simpler than now. Somebody take me back to the days where I had no worries, where I was still an innocent child, where I don't know what love is. Can I get a wish to end all this? What would you wish for if you have one wish? Will wishing upon shooting stars work? I find myself racing the earth, against the impossible...where do I belong? To who do I belong? Soaked in bitterness and anger. I wanna run...away from all this.

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Start Of Something NEW

Tomorrow college re-opens. I'll be entering the second year of college. Its Year2 Semester1. This is the semester which we choose our major. I've been tossing and turning thinking about which major to go for and I've settled for PR & Advertising, something I told myself never to go for because it involves alot of planning and paperwork but I guess I'm eating my own words now. If it were to go by heart, I would go for Broadcasting because I like all those editing stuff and the whole filming and being able to have my own radio show kinda thing but knowing the people in batch, my ideas would be stepped over and they would get the say because of majority votes. Another reason in my mind was that the Broadcasting field in Malaysia is kinda flat. Its not easy to get jobs in Malaysia, even in KL Second choice would be Journalism but then I don't wanna do newspaper. I'm not meant for that. Magazine would be more of my thing. But then we all have to start in newspaper, most probably. Then there's no one in my batch who's going for Journalism. I'm the only one if I take it and then there's drama in the editor's team and all. Guess I'll just settle for PR & Advertising. I like Advertising, not so much on the PR side. We'll see where all this leads to...

New semester, new classes, new lecturers. Since we're choosing our majors, we won't be seeing each other so much already. I'm gonna miss some friends who are going for different major, namely Hansel, Vicky, Wei Ching, Pei Fei, Ning Yi, Gary, Ar Jie and others. While part of me is DAMN excited because I don't have to see faces that I don't like. Sigh...me...

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Are You? Am I?

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As humans, we wait and wait. We waited for our future parents to have sex before we are born. Then, we wait inside our mother's womb for 9months before we pop out. After that, we wait to grow up and do whatever that is planned for us. Even during our exams, we wait. After exam, we wait for the results to come out. When we graduate, we wait for the ceremony. When we are ready to look for job, we wait for replies.

When it comes to love, we wait as well. We either try our very best to find that special one or we wait for he/she to appear in our life. I've tried both. Find and wait. Both ended with me withdrawing into an emo state. How long does one have to wait? Alot of people say its not my time yet. Well, the 18s and 19s are having a blissful love life. Why is not my time yet? And I'm 21. Don't get me wrong, I'm not rushing into things. I just feel lonely at times, most of the times. Especially during the night when its cold and dark. There's just so many things that goes through one's mind and you just wanna share it with someone...

Joseph - I am TiRED of WAiTiNG :(

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I've heard of MAKiNG LOVE OUT OF NOTHiNG AT ALL. I've heard of LOVE AT FiRST SiGHT. I've heard of LOVE AT FiRST LUST. I've heard of KNOWiNG YOU LOVE THAT SOMEBODY EVEN BEFORE THEY SHOW UP. I've heard of TRYiNG TO LOVE SOMEBODY. Have you heard of FUELED OUT FOR LOVE? Well, this is what I'm experiencing...

Recently, I've been feeling out of love. This is so NOT me. I am the type who seek for someone to love and yet...things seems to be different now. I seem to DON'T KNOW how to LOVE. I seem to be filled with anger, bitterness and jealousy. Few have approached me. If it was back then, I would try to like and maybe develop this thing called love but now...I just don't seem to be interested. You may call it LOST FAiTH iN LOVE. If last time I fall in love too easily, now I don't even know how to fall in love, more over love somebody. Maybe I've been through relationship too many times for this period of my life. Maybe all this time of people saying ''its not your time yet'' has taken its toll on me. Maybe it's never time for me. Maybe I'm meant to be single and alone in this dying world. Sounds depressing? Well, these are just my thoughts. I do like someone right now, right here but am I able to bring to the next level? The level they call love? I am not sure myself. I don't trust myself to be in love anymore. I think I've lost myself. I think my soul is lost. I think I need a helping hand to bring me back. I could use somebody but who is that somebody? My heart yearns for companionship yet its shielded so strongly, like a stronghold that nothing can go through it.

I think I am just tired of everything around me. Who wants to be lonely, right? But I seem to always end up that way. Tell me where do broken-hearts go? To a place where the lonelys are? Or does it withdraw and cast itself into a world of its own? A world of darkness and the parallel? Will you save me out of my loneliness and darkness? Are you out there somewhere?

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Thursday, August 19, 2010


WHEN?! Can I just be a teenager, a student and just worry bout my studies instead of EVERYTHiNG?!

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This WRONG, That Also WRONG

I hate this house of mine. I don't wanna be trap in this house forever but at the same time, I can't move because I have 3dogs! I love my dogs. They are my babies, my life. Now, our application for the goverment's flat has been approved. Its only RM97 per-month. Problem is, not possible to keep dogs in flat. Plus its at level 9. I can't move in there. But if we reject it, we won't be able to apply for it next time. What should I do???

The current house is RM200 per-month. I hate this house, this freaking kampung house but I can keep my dogs here. In the flat, I can't. What should I do??? Damn it, damn it! I wanna move there but I want my dogs too! What you want me to do? Put my dogs to sleep as in kill them??? NO FREAKiN' WAY! I've kept them for 7 years, 7 years of my teenage hood. They've been with me through everything. I hug them when I'm down. I tell them how I feel. They run to me whenever I get home. They ''manja'' with me when the word ''sayang'' is mentioned.

WHiTEY - The STEAM Case One
CERA - The BABY In The Family

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